Most of us try to take a practical, reasonable approach to money. We make budgets and educate ourselves about personal finance. However, no matter how practical we may be, at least a small part of our financial decisions are based more on emotion than logic. The way we view money affects the way that we deal with money — and men and women often have very different feelings about finances.
- Photo: Artofdreaming
Earning Money: Men vs. Women
Since men and women have different experiences regarding earning money, they will feel differently about it, in general. Men, on average, still earn more money than women in many job fields. As a result, women may feel like their work is less valued, creating a desire to protect their incomes and succeed in earning money.
Even in two-income homes, women may feel somewhat dependent on their spouses who earn more money. This can lead men to feel a lot of pressure to be the caretaker and can lead women to feel less independent than they would like.
Some women may rebel against this feeling of dependence by becoming excessively interested in hanging on to their financial independence. In turn, men who don’t contribute financially may feel insecure and unsure how they could best support. The situation has been exacerbated by an economy in which men are losing their jobs faster than women.
As a result of these differences, there may be regular conflict and power struggles in the household. These may revolve around money. However, they may also revolve around other areas of household management such as chores. Understanding the underling psychology and feelings that are causing the sense of imbalance in the home can lead to more harmony in the household.
Investing Money: Men vs. Women
Women today still often feel insecure about their ability to completely understand financial issues. (This is one of the 7 most common money fears.) As a result, women are less likely to invest money than men are. Women who do invest tend to do so much more conservatively than men, reflecting in part the male tendency to be willing to take risks. There are benefits to both the conservative and the risk-taking approach to investments. Because of this, a male-female team can really work well together to invest successfully if they are able to work out their differences around the issue.
Saving Money: Men vs. Women
Despite the fact that women invest money less than men do, they tend to be more interested in long term financial planning and saving money. They are also more interested in living frugal lifestyles. This is because of a few key differences between men’s lives and women’s lives:
- Women tend to be responsible for managing the household budget particularly in regards to the care of children.
- Women usually live longer than men. They can expect to spend many years on their own in old age and want to have a nest egg to support themselves during this time.
- Women move in and out of careers more frequently than men (taking time off to have children, etc.) and therefore feel a greater need for the financial stability of a savings account.
Spending Money: Men vs. Women
Women and men both tend to shop for both practical and emotional reasons. For example, both men and women may shop to fit in with others and maintain a certain status or image. The main difference in emotional spending between men and women is in what they’ll spend their money on.
One study showed that “women were far more likely to buy something without needing it (36 percent vs. 18 percent), buy something because it’s on sale (24 percent vs. 5 percent), shop impulsively (36 percent to 18 percent) and shop to celebrate (31 percent vs. 19 percent).” (source)
However, men spend more money than women on many things, including eating out, drinking, sports tickets, consumer electronics and cars.
Talking about Money
It’s no secret that men and women communicate differently. These differences are strongest in areas of conflict and around topics that have a lot of emotions attached to them. For many of us, money remains an emotional and conflictual issue, making it difficult to discuss it with others. Learning skills to talk to the opposite sex about money issues can go a long way towards making it more likely that your money choices will be made based on rational beliefs rather than pure emotion. Learning to hear and accept the money choices that someone else is making while articulating and understanding your own issues will assist you in making wiser choices — particularly if you are working as part of a team with someone else to run your household finances.
How have you experienced a difference in the money habits of men vs. women?
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Actually in household, the both of us are responsible for the budget. In fact, in some ways my husband is more responsible. It is true he is better with investing…I have a hard time taking money risks. We are very good about talking about money and we review our finances once a week together.
Great article. Very interesting.
I think the psychology for both men and women change a lot when you get married, have children or start living with someone.
Great article. I’ve seen this a lot when women lose their husbands either to death or divorce. Although this is changing, traditionally the men tend to manage the investments. When she loses her husband, their anxiety increased because they now have to take on the role of managing money when they were comfortable leaving that responsibility to someone they loved and trusted. I always encourage people to engage in their financial affairs even if their spouse is capable and willing to take on the role.
This is an interesting observation! I think that in families where the traditional role of husband and wife are a bit reversed (or, in our case, blended), you’ll see these habits change. All in all, however, I agree that there are natural tendencies with money that can be gender-related.
Thanks all for the great responses! I do agree that this is changing some and varies from household to household for sure!
This blog gives a good analysis on the different thoughts of the two genders over money. As always the way of thinking on any topic differs between men and women which include money also. However, the goal is the same, which is to be independent of bad debts and live freely without worrying about the funds. Thanks.
I am a single divorced mom. The biggest difference I find is that some men seem to be threatened by a woman who is financially independent and smart with her money. As a result, I tend to downplay my “skills” so to speak. Unfortunatly, many people are still threatened by an independent smart woman. As a result, many women are afraid to be financially responsible, as they’ve been raised in a society that even in this day and age promotes female helplessness and dependence on men. Please understand that I realize not EVERY man is threatened, and not every woman succumbs to societal pressure to be dependent. Even so, it’s definetly still a double standard.
Yes there are definite differences between the two sexes regarding money issues. In committed couples the hardest part is actually getting together to make an action plan. To survive or thrive in a marriage or relationship I believe the only way is by working as a team with clearly defined goals. e.g. Who is going to pay that phone bill? Where the hell is that bill that you need? By working as a team you can help each other slay the capitalist dragon. When things are discussed out in the open (no secrets) you can thrive and accomplish what you both want. If your partner all of a sudden decides to buy a boat discuss, discuss, step back. Before making that next significant purchase have you talked to your partner?
This approach not only solves immediate money problems; things are handled by both partners, it also helps you prepare for the future for unexpected dramatic changes.
Hope this helps someone out there
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