Delaying Gratification-5 Tips on How to Delay Gratification

One of the hardest things to do for most people is delaying their immediate gratification. We live in a society where we want everything and we want it now, without much consideration to its future impact. This attitude is learned from a young age where kids want things immediately and parents more often than not give in. However being able to delay immediate gratification has a direct impact on our success in life, and not just financial, but in all aspects of life. By now you might know that besides finance my other passion is psychology (not surprising since I studied it for 4 years) and one of my all time favourite study is the Standford Marshmallow test. If you are not familiar with the test here is a quick summary”

Years ago, psychologist Walter Mischel conducted an experiment on a group of four-year olds. Each child was offered a marshmallow, and was told that they could have it now, or if they could wait several minutes, they could have two. Some children grabbed the marshmallow on the spot but many of them were able to hold off. The interesting part of the study was that Mischel followed up on the children as adults and he discovered that those who didn’t eat their marshmallows that day were generally more self-motivated, successful in school and considered emotionally intelligent. On the other hand those who simply couldn’t wait generally had low self-esteem and had suffered in school, branded by both their teachers and parents as being stubborn, envious and easily frustrated.

Delayed Gratification

This study has been replicated by David Walsh Check outthis Youtube clip. There is a very strong link between delaying gratification and success in life, the earlier we learn this skill the better off we will be. However it is never too late to learn how to delay your immediate gratification; here are some tips that can help you along the way.

1. Make an Advance Decision and Know What You Want

Get your decision in writing. Try to be as detailed as possible about your decision as well as the expected outcome. Sometimes it can be hard to say NO to things, you have to have a clear picture of what you want in order to resist the urge.

2. Know what is Important to You- Know Your Values.

In order to be able to delay immediate gratification you need to know what is important to you, what do you value to most. Is it the satisfaction of owning a brand new car or that you own a pre-owned car debt free? Know your values.

3. Have a Plan

I don’t think that every aspect of ones life should be planned out in detailed but in order to reach your goals, whatever they maybe, you need to have a plan. You should have a financial plan to reach your financial goals, a career plan to reach your career goals etc. If you have a plan it becomes easier to resists the urge of immediate satisfaction, you maybe more conscious of your behavior and how they fit in your plan.

4. Prioritize

Have clear priorities in life this can be financial priorities or just general priorities in life, such as school comes before entertainment, family before friends etc. Having clear priorities will go a long way in delaying gratification.

5. Reward Yourself

If you have long term goals, I highly recommend you set-up some short term goals and reward yourself for reaching them. Sometimes it can be very difficult to keep focus on long term goals if we don’t see some rewards, giving yourself small rewards can be very powerful.

Delaying gratification is not an easy task, but it is something that can be learned over time, following some of these steps will help you in the process. However do not stop at these there are tones of resources online on this topic, take sometime and go through some of them.

Are you able to delay gratification? How has this benefited you? Please share your tips with us!

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Comments

  1. says

    I struggle with this one myself. I am definitely a here and now kind of guy. If I see it, and I want it, then I want it now. It has actually helped some since my wife and I went to separate spending accounts as I can no longer tap into the joint money for buying extraneous stuff. I had to wait a whole 4 weeks to get my iPhone. Can you believe that. :-)

  2. says

    I definitely agree with the overall message of the studies mentioned above. I had a roommate in college who was in over $20k in debt by the time she was 20 years old (NOT counting the cost of tuition). She couldn’t even begin to tell you where she had spent the money, though I observed much of where it went: new clothes, bar nights, car payments, dining out… Getting to know her family, it was obvious that her parents had never said No to her as a child, and continue to grant her what she wants at any time. I had never heard of the study mentioned, but it makes perfect sense to me. There’s nothing wrong with saying “No, honey. You need to save your allowance for that.”

  3. says

    I waxed nostalgic about a similar topic recently in a blog post called Patience Needed – Now!

    I believe our increasingly-digital culture is only aggravating the problem of people not being able to delay gratification. The one-click immediacy that technology so often affords us is a nasty self-perpetuating behavioral enabler.

  4. says

    delay gratification is very important for every successful man.Our live have many distraction, you want to be successful, you need to go out these distraction and focus on your goal. To achieve your goal, you should make a plan to do that and focus on process. On your process, you can face to many thing that you want to do. if you can’t keep yourself, you will not focus on your goal and finally you fail. so you can make some priorities ( less than 5) and always think about them, and allow them to take action. i think there are many factors making success but in my opinion delaying gratification may be a most important factor.
    Thanks for sharing!

  5. Victor says

    I agree with this write-up absolutely. You either defer your gratification now and reap fulfillment in the future or gain instant gratification and feel defeated forever. This has affected a lot of people and we keep making same mistake everyday by going headlong to make decisions on the impulse. Think before you buy, is it worth the spend? Impulse control goes a long way in our lives and it tells a lot on our financial stability, emotional intelligence and a lifetime happiness.

  6. Dr. K says

    I like your comments–but please fix your run-on sentences!

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