When you have massive debt and your job is on the line, you can feel really helpless. I work as a young lawyer. As far as bosses go, lawyers are not always the best. They expect you to be as knowledgeable as they are–who cares if they have been practicing law 10, 15, or even 30 years longer than you.
It can be frustrating trying your best only to have your work sent back, covered in ink. I was told the other day by one of the partners that they think I’m a bad writer. It was devastating.
Having massive debt means you can’t say “take this job and shove it.” Your boss likely knows it. You definitely know it. At what point should you consider starting to look for something else? When in every other job you’ve always been appreciated, always been told you’re a great employee–how do you now react to that criticism?
How can you do great work when you spend half your day seized by fear of being fired?
So much of what I do and who I am is defined by my job. What would happen if that was taken from me?
Massive Debt—and a Job on the Line
For a sensitive employee like me every harsh word is an arrow. It hurts my self-condifence. When you’re an attorney you want to be confident. A little bit of cockiness is even acceptable. It shouldn’t rise to Tom Cruise characters in the 80’s levels of confidence, but it should be a quiet confidence. The kind that puts your clients at ease. The kind that makes your partners think you’re great even if you make a mistake or two.
So much of life is perception.
Debt is the removal of freedom. I repeat: Debt is the removal of freedom.
Conclusion
Sorry I feel beaten down guys, but it’s just frustrating to be in this place. I usually write a lot of “how to” articles. Today I’m asking you for your advice.
How do you change your bosses’ somewhat negative perception of you? Is it better to quit a job at the first rumbling signs or try and stick it out?
What can you do when you’re so in debt you’re barely making it as it is….and now you find out your job isn’t as secure as you thought it was?
What do you do?
Quitting a job at the first sign shows your bosses that you can’t stick with it – that you give up at the first challenge. Not only will it hurt you when it comes to referrals, in a small industry it can be the beginning of a bad rep. And in a cutthroat profession like yours, being perceived as someone who folds at the first sign of pressure is the kiss of death, I’d imagine.
If you think you’ve screwed up, or if you’ve been told you’ve screwed up, the best possible thing you can do is man up and fix it. If you don’t know how to fix it or you don’t know how you’ve screwed up, then ask. If you can’t ask your boss, then find a mentor. Find someone who can teach you what you need to know w/out having to go to the boss and say “I don’t know this.”
And honestly … grow balls. 🙂 I don’t mean that in a harsh way, but you’ve chosen a career in which you can’t be a “sensitive employee”. If every harsh word is an arrow to your soul, you’re going to crash and burn. You’re going to have to grow a thick skin, a backbone, and fake it til you make it.
It’s not going to get any better at any other law firm; and if you go in having given up on one job, you’ll be at a disadvantage from the get-go.
Kh:
Harsh advice but exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks.
This is a tough situation and I imagine most of us have been there to some extent at some point in our lives. Keep your resume up to date and keep networking in your industry. However, before you quite you might want to evaluate the following:
1.) Will the grass really be greener? Is the environment where you work really any different than at any other law firm?
2.) Could you be (gasp) WRONG!?!?! This is a tough one for any of us to evaluate about ourselves objectively. But… might your boss be right? Do you have room to grow? For instance, you said that one of the partner’s doesn’t care for your writing. Your blog writing is good… very good… but blog writing and legal writing are not the same. To climb to the ranks of partner your boss obviously has some success in his field, so maybe you can take his advice and learn from him?
3.) Are you being overly sensitive? Sometimes people don’t say things in the most tactful way, but that doesn’t mean they hate you. You seem like a very sensitive person (I judge this based on your blog entries, comments on Yakezie, and responses to others blogs, etc. – so it is just my perception and may not be fact). There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, but most of the lawyers I know are pretty “cut and dry” and not always the most tactful. You might want to read up on different personality styles to learn how to deal with some of the more direct leadership styles that you are dealing with at work.
Bottom line, you can’t and won’t change your boss. Instead, you have to change to adapt to them. Not fun, but that is life. Hang in there!
Denise:
Great points. Although I’m really upset you called me sensitive because that’s so untrue. 🙂
I think you’re right that I have to grow and do better. It’s tough starting a new field–particularly if it is a demanding job. I just have to buckle down……when people start doubting me…..that’s when I tend to really do my best work. (pride).
It sounds like you are well motivated. By the way, good response with the ‘sensitive’ comment. LOL!
Tough situation, sorry you are going through a rough patch. My suggestion would be same as kh – deal with it. I don’t know who said this, but I have been repeating this myself lately – what doesn’t destroy me will only make me stronger. If you think your next boss will be better and appreciate you better, you might be waiting for a long time. Try to analyze it from a 3rd person perspective, a lot of times we think we are right but so does everyone else. If there is any truth, even a little, in what they said, accept it and make it as a challenge to improve you. If not, move on.