This past week Yahoo published an article from Flare Magazine called “10 things to know about your partner before getting engaged.” I was surprised to learn that personal finances and money management were not even in the top three criteria on the list. I personally believe that similar interests and philosophies regarding personal finances and money should be at the top of the list.
If we share similar interests, philosophies, and goals regarding money with our spouse then we will also share other similar interests. If our spending habits are similar to our spouses spending habits, we must also share similar life interests and other common thoughts.
Sharing complementary interests was on the top of the list at number one. We spend our money on our interests and therefore, the relationship will be a lot easier if we share common interests with our spouse. It would be hard to have one person in a couple who always likes to stay at home, while the other person always likes to be out on the town.
Having similar personal goals was number 3 on the list. I agree that it is very important to share future goals because we should always be working towards something. Personal goals should include financial goals such as buying a home and planning for retirement. My boyfriend and I couldn’t be more opposite in this category. I always like to be working towards a goal such as saving to buy a new condo, or planning our next vacation. My boyfriend is very happy paying one monthly bill as we rent our apartment.
Financial views finally made the list at number 4. I personally think that this should have come in at number 2 on the list instead of family baggage. Similar spending habits can make or break a relationship. I had a client come into my office this past week and remove her husband from all of their joint savings, checking, and investment accounts because he was excessively spending money. In my opinion, financial trust is just as important as fidelity and commitment.
Is your spouse supporting kids from a previous relationship? Was the question asked at number 5. Child support and alimony payments can account for a large portion of a person’s monthly income. We may be resentful if our spouse is spending money on his previous family, instead of saving for his future with his current family.
Sex, Ethics, and Addictions were also all factors that we should consider about our spouse before we get engaged. Can anyone guess what question came in at number 10? We should inquire if our future spouse has a past criminal record. This would definitely be on the top of the list for me. When I saw this I asked myself, when does sexual behaviour take precedence over having a criminal record? I would personally like to know about my boyfriend’s criminal past, (especially if it included anything such as identity theft fraud or money laundering) before I would like to know about his likes and dislikes in the bedroom.
Do you and your spouse have similar financial interests, goals, and money management habits?
Photo By Somma