Personal Finance for Couples- Money Management for Unmarried Couples

by Ray

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This is the first article in a series of Personal Finance for couples. We will be disusing personal finance tips for couples and newlyweds, if you have specific questions feel free to contact us. Remember to subscribe to our blog to ensure you won’t miss anything.

Investing, saving, debt repayment … money management and personal finance can be a confusing task for most people, personal finance for couples has its own challenges. Talking about money can be a sensitive topic and money is the number one cause for relationship breakups. Finances never seems to be the issue early in a relationship but it becomes a bigger issue as the relationship grows, the best way is to start discussing money issues at the early stage in the relationship to reduce future arguments.

The Do Not’s

Keep Finances Separate

If you are living together and are not legally married yet, I highly suggest that you keep your finances separate. Yes I know you are planning on getting married and are sharing your finances already, I truly hope things will workout but there is a chance that it might not. The only thing uglier than a break up is a break up with intertwined finances. Until you are married you should keep all your finances separate, keep individual bank accounts – including Savings accounts, Investment accounts etc. JUST IN CASE of a break up this will save you both a lot of unneeded headache.  Besides break-ups there are other reasons why things might not work out; such as death.

Do not Share Assets

This relates to my first point of keeping separate finances.  Try to avoid making joint purchases and sharing assets, such as a house, car, boat etc. If you do decide to go ahead and make such purchases consider having a lawyer draw up a contract detailing what will happen in case of separation. I know discussing separation is not the sexiest conversation to have, but unfortunately break ups are more common than people are willing to accept.

Do not Share Liabilities

Same goes for liabilities, do not co-sign on loans or credit cards. If you do decide to “help out” and co-sign on a loan, make sure there are proper documents that outlines who is responsible for the loan and the terms of repayment in case of break up. Everything might be going great now, but imagine you signed a $20,000 loan and a year later you break up….not a pretty picture.

The Do’s

Discuss Importance of Money

Money has a different purpose for each person, couples should discuss the importance of money and how it might affect their relationship. Are you both spenders or frugal? Is one a spender and the other frugal?  How important is it to you to have money, will you work 15 hours per day or is spending time with family more important than financial security? If you are lucky you both may have the same view on things, but chances are you won’t. You will have to compromise; relationships are all about compromising with each other this also applies to your finances. Find a middle ground where you both feel comfortable. This will not happen in one session, it will take time – months and even years to find common grounds.

Discuss Long-Term Goals

Now that you know what role money plays in your relationship, start talking about what your long term financial goals are. Do you want to own a house? How do you feel about leasing or financing items? How do you feel about debt? Some people do not mind debt while other’s hate debt. Again you will have to compromise on things to make sure you both feel comfortable with your financial decisions.  A good exercise would be to list your ten or twenty year financial goals individually and see how they compare and go from there.

The number one reason for break ups in recent years has been financial issues, it can be a difficult issue to start discussing but ultimately it can save your relationship if you both have an understanding of your partner’s financial goals.

Do you have any tips to share with unmarried couples? Do you have any personal experience good/bad?

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Will @ Cheap Date Ideas!

Thanks for writing this – all very valid points over a particularly contentious issue that can eventually lead to making or breaking a relationship.

If you’re serious about building a future together, it’s crucial to be on the same page with each other and be honest in order to work towards a common goal rather than shy away from this touchy issue completely.

Reply

Mortgage Discharge

If you want to stay together then make sure that you are at least honest with your partner about your finances. Honesty will get you far no matter how much money you make and what your savings habits are.

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Pete

Great post! Really good insight. It’s always difficult to discuss finances and share money in relationships. Thanks for your advice. I recently stumbled upon this blog like I stumbled upon yours. I think they offer some good points and laughter about the topic: http://burisonthecouch.wordpress.com/2010/09/22/dolla-dolla-bill-yall/

Thanks for the post! I’d like to see more like it.

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human mathematics

If you live together you are already sharing assets and liabilities. You are both responsible for the rent — do you share that on a per-dollar basis, or does the higher earner pay more?

Maybe you are also sharing a car. Are you both going to pay for the repairs? Or the one who uses it more, pays more? Or the one who got in an accident pays it? Or the one who wants to use it more in the future?

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